Are you thinking about starting therapy or counselling? This can make one feel overwhelmed or nervous.
You might know something is not quite right, but the idea of sitting in front of someone you do not know and talking about your inner personal world is not always easy and can bring up nerves, uncertainty, and fear.
If you are considering therapy for the first time, this guide is here to gently walk you through what to expect - so seeking help will feel a little less daunting and a lot more human.
Ultimately, therapy is all about people, it is all about you.
First things first, therapy is not what it might look like and is often portrayed.
Therapy is not lying on a couch while someone silently takes notes. It is not about being judged, analysed, or “fixed.” Therapists are not mind readers, they are simply other humans accompanying you on your life journey to help you deal with whatever life has thrown at you.
At its core, therapy is a safe, confidential, supportive conversation with a trained professional who is there for you and whose role is to help you understand yourself, your emotions, make sense of what you are experiencing and often help you heal the wounds from the past.
You do not need to know what to say.
You do not need a clear “problem.”
You do not need to be in crisis.
What happens in the first session?
The first session is usually about getting to know you. This session is called assessment.
Your therapist may ask about:
What has brought you to therapy and why now
What symptoms, issues, patterns are you experiencing
About your life, relationships, or background that led you to seek counselling
What your goals are from therapy (even if that is unclear)
You are also welcome to ask questions, for example:
How they work, what is their approach
What are the sessions like
How long do they expect the therapy to take and how often are the sessions held
There is no pressure to share everything. You are always in control of the pace and what you feel comfortable sharing, and you are always heard.
Many people do leave the first session thinking “That was a lot easier than I expected.”
What does therapy feel like week to week?
Most counselling sessions will feel like:
Talking things through out loud
You are being listened to without interruption or judgement
Having patterns of thoughts, feelings and actions gently noticed or reflected back to you
Noticing things which are hidden from your view and you have not seen before
Often sessions might feel emotional, insightful, sometimes quiet, or simply steady and supportive. They however always feel like relieving, where you come out of the session feeling lighter and equipped with new tools to deal with life.
There is no “right” way to do therapy. Some weeks you will have lots to say; others you might not—and both are okay.
Do I have to talk about my past?
Talking about past is useful as your present emotional situation, feelings and reactions are formed from your past experiences even if you do not know it.
Some therapies, for example Psychodynamic Psychotherapy or Trauma Therapy explore past experiences to understand current patterns, thoughts and feeling. Others, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), focus more on the present and future. Some therapists are trained in one or the other techniques, others, such as integrative counsellors and psychotherapists, will work collaboratively with you and check in about what feels right.
The important thing is that the therapist will meet you where you are at and you will not be pushed to talk about anything before you are ready.
Your relationship with your therapist matters and if something does not feel right, you are allowed to talk about it or try a different therapist who you feel more aligned with or you feel will help you better.
At the Wellbeing Centre London, we support our clients if they do not feel that the personal ‘click’ is there and they want to switch therapists.
To save you time (and money) we will pass all of your assessment to date from the first therapist onto another therapist with no charge to yourself, we then arrange for you to have a free 15 minutes phone consultation with other therapist to ensure you feel that they are a better fit for you.
What therapy is (and is not)
Therapy is:
A safe and supportive, confidential space
Collaborative, not directive
About understanding, not judgement
Therapy is not:
Being told what to do
Being criticised, analysed or judged
A test you can fail
A Final Thought
Starting therapy is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that something matters to you.
It is like going to a physio when you have a back problem, you can try to fix it on your own but it is much more productive to talk to someone who is trained and can help you in an informed way.
You do not have to have the answers.
You do not have to know where to start.
You just have to be willing to begin.
And if you are nervous? ….
That is okay too. Most people are - right up until they realise that they do not have to do it alone and there is someone who has your back and can help.
Positive life change starts with the first step of making the call, sending the email, once this step is taken, the change often comes faster than you might think.
If you are ready to make the change, we are here to support you with that move.
Please reach out and call or email us today to arrange a 15 minutes phone consultation to discuss how we can support you. We will also explain how our therapies and therapists to help you.
Give us a call on 07942 626 960 or 0800 8611 239, or reach out to us by email at contact@wellbeingcentrelondon.com
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